There’s already been a bunch of people making fun of the sort of basic, aspirational, ‘trying to give my baby a movie-star name but it just makes her sound like a stripper’ type names. (i.e. Mila/Dakota/Auden/Taylor/Skyler/Jacelyn/Ashley/Lindsey/Kayden)’
But I want to take it back to the 80s. Because we had bitch-names back then too, and it’s still relevant, because all those women are now your boss or your worst customer.
Without further preamble; IN DESCENDING ORDER OF BITCHINESS. . . . .
- Patricia (bonus points if she says, “JUST TRICIA IS FINE” * tight smile*)
- Lori/Kristi/Vicki/Kerri/Kelli (tie)
- Melinda / Melissa
(I had to leave out names like Michelle, Julia, and Heather, because 90% of all girls of that generation are named that. . . . too many false positives.)
Unlike today’s “Don’t name your girl that!” names, these aren’t bad names because they’re too stripper-y (with the exception of that hideous 5-way tie), or too pretentious or too trendy-at-the-time. They’re offensive because they sound like super uptight, arrogant managers in bleached-denim shoulder-padded pant-suits and crusty hair, who refuse to even give pregnant single moms a job interview after they’ve sat in the waiting room for 90 minutes.
Everyone , especially not-americans, please leave the equivalent names in your country, in the comments!5 comments