Tokyo Damage Report

curmudgeon with a bludgeon song titles part iv

150 Fuck, I Like Ska Now
151 Oh No I Spent All My Tattoo Money On Soap ((Again) What NOW???)
152 Sleeve Tattoo Soccer Mom Vs. Clean-Cut But Rebellious Hot Rod Dad (There Can Be No Winner)
153 John Zorn: The Grind Bernie Madhoff
154 Society Should Pay For My Boner Extension (I’m A Horse-Cock Trans-Man Trapped In The Body Of A Regular-Dick Man (Hashtag Human Rights Exclamation Point (Hashtag Surgeon Retires To Cayman Islands))
155 Actually Writing Songs Is For Suckers (How The Man Keeps Musicians Too Busy To Overthrow Shit)
156 Karen Finley Was Jesse Helms’ Art Project (Yam Shoved In The Matrix)
157 Seriously Jewish Philanthropic Foundation, I Need 30,000 Dubloons To Finish My Unwatchable Art Project About Our Proud Cultural Heritage
158 Can I See Your Guns And Roses Cover Band Some Other Time? (Heat Death Of Universe Ensues)
159 You Ghost Wrote At Least 3 A.C. Albums
160 Diatoms Can Suck My Dick
161 Won’t You Wear A Ribbon For Uneven Moustache Growth Survivors Syndrome?
162 Oh, You Mean . . . UMGSuS???
163 So You Thought You Could Perv Out On My Pee-Style?!?
164 I Have To Make An Appointment To Make An Appointment
165 The First Appointment Is Delayed Until After The Second Appointment Deadline Expires
166 So Fuckin’ Gangsta Just Lying In Bed (Because Everything I Own Was Made By Sweatshops And Unhuman Conditions)
167 Refried Beans Are Uncomfortable To Look At
168 Puberty Is Racist
169 (Never Make Someone Listen To (Or Be Aware Of )) Ouds
170 Guiro Vs. Cuica IV: The Ultimate Enscrapetion
171 Struggle Against And Repudiate Solos! All Power To The Rythm Sectionariat!
172 ‘Annie Hall Hat’ Full Of Golden Retriever Entrails
173 Passport Encrusted In Hippo Phlegm (Still Legal (Try It))
174 1mm Of Exposed White Toenail Feels LIke Giant Glacial Ice-Sheet Just Waiting To Be Hacked With Miniature Pickaxes (Obsessive Disgusting Toenail Picker In The House)
175 Diatoms Can REALLY Suck My Dick
176 Worldwide Total Obliteration Of Something
177 Why Otherwise Savvy Music Freaks Defend The Wiener Enlimpening Softrock Of The Minutemen Is Beyond Me!
178 Music Notation Is Piano-Centric And Wholly Irrational, Therefore Fuck It. Or Something Along Those LInes.
AKA Music Notation That Only Makes Sense On Piano (And Even Then Only In The Key Of ‘C’), Sure, Let’s Use That System Exclusively For A Thousand Years
179 I Know You Had A Hard Life, Morbidly Obese Grandma, But Control Your Kid On The Playground Or I Will Cut Off Your Arm-Flaps And Subsequently Sew Him Into A Coccoon Of Them From Which He Will Not Emerge
180 DICK NO I Will Not, Should I “Happen To Find” Your Escaped Pit Bull, Hold Onto Him Until You Come Back This Way (You Absurd Redneck)
181 Good Lord Do I Not Care If Bruce Jenner Is A Woman, If He’s A Gunny-Sac Full O’ Defective Shell-Toe Addidas, Or If He’s Now The Vast, Vast Steppes Of Central Asia Somehow.
182 Ditto A Mind-Flayer
183 Tonight On Head-On Collision Theatre; Air Force One Vs. All Lexii Simultaneously (The Winner Is Who Cares, I Just Want To See It In Slow Motion)
184 Ralph Nader Regulated Your Mom (With His Penis AND Federal Bureaucracy (Not Necessairly In That Order))
185 Sheldon Adelson Is The Best Joke Jackie Mason Ever Pulled (Seriously Have You Ever Seen Them In A Room At The Same Time? Mister? No One Has, That’s Who.)
186 Fucking Clogs
187 187 . . . . On An Undercover Clog
188 Brian Wilson Is Such A Tormented Genius (So Let’s All Abuse Our Kids)
189 The Rudest Canadians (Oh My God Are Geese Not Utter Asswads?)
191 This Leisure Sheet Is Barb Encrusted
192 Eff Your Head-To-Toe Hobby-Specific Garb
193 If Your Song Title Is Like ‘The Blahblahblah Song’, Kill Yourself With Wire
194 Am I The Only One Who Still Remembers How Repugnant The Term ‘Lifestyle’ Is????
195 The Last Time I Saw Something As Unfunny As Stephen Colbert It Was A Woman
196 Hashtag Something Ha Ha Comedy Gold Because Hashtag
Lenny Bruce Isnt Funny Because He Didn’t Have Hashtags
197 It Doesn’t Symbolize Hate, It Symbolizes A Heritage Of Hate (Those Are Two Different Things Because .. . .Because Fuck You, Quinoa-Knowing-What-Is Book-Reader)
198 Ass. (That Is All)
199 It’s Only ‘Real Literature’ If It’s About White Collar Families Being Super Sad And Divorcing (Anything With Diversity, Humor, Satire, Or Overt Politics Is Simply Not Art (And Don’t Get Me Started About Endings That Actually Resolve))
200 So Sick Of This Band (And I Haven’t Even Written Any Songs Yet)

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