Tokyo Damage Report

new ebook available!

My new book, MAXIMUM SCENARIOS 2016, is done! A whole year’s worth of rants: Lists, anthropology, satire, skits, politics, metaphysics, and 260,000 words of essays.

Kindle link

Or, if you don’t support Amazon:

Free DL of the MS Word version

 

Just so you have some idea, here’s an excerpt from the table of contents:

 

I. PORN GUY CLAP-BACKS
II. STORES, FICTIONAL
III. DERISIVE NICKNAMES FOR PUNDITS
IV. Sexy etymology exercise #101:
V. CATCH PHRASES
VI. CURRENCY NAMES STILL AVAILABLE
VII. JACK KIRBY MACHINE NAMES
VIII. MARVEL WHAT-IF?!?!?!?!?!?
IX. MORE FAILED MARVEL ISSUE TITLES
X. IT’S ME! (entrance lines)
XI. PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE MERCH
XII. OUT-OF-CONTEXT SENTENCE FRAGMENTS, EXCERPTED AGAINST THEIR WILL, FROM REVIEWS OF . . . THINGS
XIII. FALSE PUNS, VALTNEINES EDITION
XIV. 6 COMPLAINTS THAT SEX THERAPISTS HEAR ALL THE TIME
XV. ORGANIZATIONS OR JAPANESE CAT SOUNDS WITH SAME FIRST *AND* LAST LETTERS OF ‘N***Z WITH ATTITUDE’
XVI. IF RANDOMLY SEATED NEXT TO PARIS ON A PLANE, WAYS TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU KNOW IT’S HIM:
XVII. FALSE ANAGRAMS
XVIII. FAMOUS LAST WORDS
XIX. MORE USELESS ARTIFACTS
XX. ELDER GODS
XXI. CHILLING NOT UNLIKE THE PROVERBIAL VILLAIN
XXII. OMINOUS OR ODDLY COERCIVE NEW-AGE USERNAMES
XXIII. MARTINEZ DRUGDEALER MANSION NICKNAMES

 

 

(this goes on for 3,000 more words)

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2 comments

2 Comments so far

  1. Warui April 14th, 2017 9:23 am

    Yo!

    Anyone knows if Schultz is still alive?

  2. fizgig April 28th, 2017 3:42 pm

    He’s still active on twitter: https://twitter.com/dadsyellinagain

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