sealab 2021 quotes
OK, here's the last TV punchline mp3 posts for a while.
256 quotes from Sealab. Because that's what I do to unwind from reading esoteric Shinto textbooks.
right here: RUBBERSPOON RUBBERSPOON RUBBERSPOON RUBBERSPOON RUBBERSPOON RUBBERSPOON
1 comment Tags: tv —
mp3 punchlines from THE CRITIC
The Critic was a short-lived cartoon back in the '90s. I just re-watched it, and now realize it was not very good. Way too sentimental, not vulgar enough, and the basic idea (animated film critic reviews parodies of Hollywood movies) was never funny even the first time: Hollywood is so boring even parodies of it are boring. Same thing with Elvis and Guns-n-roses. Some things are not even interesting when you mock them. Anyway, that didn't stop me from watching every episode and sound-capturing the punch-lines. There was plenty of absurd, non-sequitur humor hidden away in this series. Especially with dude's dad, a george bush-Sr. clone that said stuff like " SPEAKING AS THE FIRST BLACK FEMALE PRESIDENT OF THE KU KLUX KLAN , i'D JUST LIKE TO SAY. . .. AMERICA SUCKS!"
Don'T forget I also previously posted my soundbites from . . .
SEASONS 2-5 OF IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
and . ..
No comments Tags: tv shows —June Decay
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The shop that burned down? The ROAST CHICKEN.
2 comments Tags: decay —Architechture of West Chuo line
Between Musashi Sakai and Kouenji!
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above, this nutty MC Escher building is an architectural firm! the "BOW STUDIO." Talk about getting high on your own supply.
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Below, this building is not only interesting, but all the tenants are ALSO interesting:
an English prep school, a mental health clinic, another architectural firm, a software firm, a sheet-music transcription service, and a "scenario clinic"!!
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Laputa theatre in Asagaya. No relation to the Miyazaki film?
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1 comment Tags: asagaya, chuo, chuo line, kichijoji —theatrical rock live:strawberry song orchestra, ryuuketsu blizzard, katsutori gakudan at CHOP
sunday february 20 , 2011, at ikebukuro chop
theatrical rock show put on by A La Mode magazine (who, if you're a long-time reader, recognize as the people who usually put on Gothic Lolita liveshows)
1: gekijou guernica 【 劇★場ゲルニカ 】
not very good art-rock with a whiff of emo. Too incompetent to be prog but plays with a sense of dynamics and bombast typical of prog.
best part? they had a Conductor. Baton and everything. Also a Para para dancer. The Bass is a mod? Huh?? Conductor jumped into the crowd and was all trying to conduct audience members but people just stared blankly. This made me think, though: What if there was a conductor pit? Like what if a bunch of knuckleheads with sleeve tattoos and batons started running in a circle while waving their little batons?
Their name means THE STAGE (as in theatre) IS GUERNICA (a reference to the famous historical massacre). And four different members sang. I asked if they played different roles, if it was like a rock opera they were doing. No. Apparently their reference to "the stage"was just fashion, not substance.
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band #2 : struggle A 【 struggleA 】
Singer: looked like nina hagen, sang like Yoko.
Victorian hot-pants.
Japanese guy in Hitler costume taking pictures of same.
Much more serious / art and less glam/fun than most of tonight's bands. But that doesn't automatically mean they were bad!
Actually they couldn't play, but they did long songs with a one- or two-note repetitive tribal groove to it, so they turned their lack of talent into an asset. Everyone had hella echo, so even with only 2 instruments it sounded cool. All songs went like this: groove, noise, repeat.
Feedback guitar, throb tribal drums. Drummer – you can't see it in the pictures- was wearing THE SAME EXACT OUTFIT as the singer PLUS A DEAD FOX AS A TOUPEE on top of her nest of hair.
I realized a thing during their set: Why is yoko Ono this chick that only ever gets made fun of but mike patton makes the exact same noises and he is a genius? Fuck that.
I wish they did surfin’ bird.
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Band #3 : ストロベリーソングオーケストラ
STRAWBERRY SONG ORCHESTRA
These guys have been going strong since the '90s. Their main influences are avant-garde flamboyant theatre guy Terayama Shuuji, and the horror manga artist Maruo Suehara, and the whole Taisho era (1910s and '20s).
STRAWBERRY is the main influence that other bands in this scene all copy. In the past – not that I've seen it – they put on full plays, spoken word events, spin-off bands where one of the characters in the play gets their own group for a one-time event, and other multi-media stuff, including a Strawberry baseball team. Like some Wu-Tang Clan shit where they sort of manufacture their own world.
Unfortunately this time, they didn't bust out with anything theatrical or any Japanese traditional instruments. They just put on a sort of generic visual-kei (glam rock) show.
The only “theatrics” were 2 cheerleader dudes – which used to be common in older days – called 応援団 (ouendan). Yes, dudes.
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and suddenly . .. hitler salutes! I have no idea. Their logo is four Ginsu knives bent into a swastika shape, with the kanji for "strawberry" in the center.
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band #5 – katsutori gakudann. 【 霞鳥幻樂団 】
literally "hazy bird phantom music squad"
Best costumes of the night: basically a Rennisance Faire of all Japanese history. The banjo player (?!?) mixed samurai clothes with Yankii ('80s juvenile delinquent) styles. The shamisen player was a geisha in drag, the accordionist was an Eduardian-era foreigner with a skull, the drummer was a lady in a Chinese-looking ramen-shop-worker costume, and the bass was a normal looking guy who kept playing “number of the beast” between songs!
As you might imagine, this band does heavy versions of folk songs.
First song was really heavy Japanese melody, but the rest of their repitoire was light-hearted and western scales, even harmony iron maiden-style bits played on shamisen and banjo (the guitar was only rhythm). The songs mostly sounded Irish more than Japanese. . .More like flogging molly or dropkick murphys than anything else, despite costumes! Wild!
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band #6 – 120 minute sandwitch. サンドイッチで１２０分
Matching wwII army uniforms with dr-seuss wigs.
Logo is Japanese flag with "puke" written on it.
Vocalist skipped in a circle round stage literally the entire time. As if he was chasing a monitor to put his foot on it but it kept running away.
Worst band. Not only were the Drums and synths pre-recorded. . .but even the vocals were milli vanilli style.
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band #7 – blood blizzard 【 流血ブリザード 】 (ryuuketsu burizaado
Judging from their picture, i thought this was going to be dumb visual glam band, but turned out to be the most theatrical band of the night!!
Not in terms of costumes or strawberry-like attention-to-atmosphere, but in the nuts-and-bolts way of actually having characters, a plot, a resolution, and etc.Basically they recapitulated the entire plot of This Is Spinal tap. Halfway through the set they broke up: Everyone went solo. and did solo songs one after the other. . .
The bassist did a vicious gakt parody, the guitarist did k-pop, the drummer came out doing some anime theme song and stripped naked. They all stopped their songs halfway through because they realized that they sucked.
Band reunited in order to do what they did best : throw much maxi-pads into the audience. Then more guys got naked and threw sandwitch bread and condiments at the audience. Naked food fights erupted as the band members dived off stage and chased each other around the audience squirting mayonaise and ketchup at each other. Then the drummer ran and dived chest-first onto the concrete floor, and slid 15 feet on a lubricated trail of condoments.
After that, the finale: a show-tune.
Their songs hinted at punk, as well as bad metal, knuckle-dragging bosozoku hard rock, and a religious worship of X Japan.
My friend is working on a book about Japanese rock, and he said that one of the things he learned was ,Japanese don’t have that indies-vs-majors hatred like in west. These blood blizzard fellows seemed to really like street-punk, glam, and pop, but take none of them seriously, and kind of acknowledge that they weren’t real or good enough to excel at any of them. Their lack of "realness" made it possible for them to have fun playing around with different genres, which they WERE good at.
The bassist was hella bosozoku chick but post-apocolyptic style with Doctor And The Medics hair (?!?) and "hooker" written in sharpie on her ass cheeks.
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the guitarist was Road Warrior with gangster tats.
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above: the drummer put a lit firework in his mouth and ran around with it.
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below: condoment fight.
below: the epic 15-foot condoment slide.
below: the encore – a broadway show-tune karaoke number!
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6 comments Tags: katsutori gakudan, ryuuketsu blizzard, strawberry song orchestra, struggle A, theatrical rock —funny Japanese surnames
I decided it was time for me to learn Japanese names. I used this helpful site:http://www.h2.dion.ne.jp/~inkan.z1/sei.htm , which lists the top 5000 most common Japanese family names. I'm studying the top 1,000 for now. . .but in the process found some really awesome family names. Keep in mind that the translations I'm giving are very literal and not the way that native Japanese would think of the names. (Like how Americans don't really realize that Schwarzennegar means 'black plowman') But it's still funny!
野尻 - Nojiri – WILD ASS
宮脇ーMiyawaki – PALACE ARMPIT
生駒 － Ikoma – LIVING SPINNING-TOP or LIVING PAWN (!!)
森脇 － Moriwaki – FOREST'S ARMPIT
高谷 – Takatani – TALL VALLEY
熊倉ーKumakura – BEAR WAREHOUSE
妹尾ー Imoo- LITTLE SISTER'S TAIL
麻生- Asou -MARIJUANA LIFE
毒島 － Busujima – LITERALLY POISON ISLAND, but they must have figured that was too rude, so they changed the pronunciation of ' poison' from DOKU to BUSU, but BUSU means UGLY WOMAN, so frankly I don't see how that is an improvement.
粕谷 －Kasuya- SAKE VALLEY
香取 -Katori- TAKE THE SMELL
毛利- Mouri -CONVINIENT FUR
鶴見 -Tsurumi - LOOKS AT CHICKENS
亀井 － Kamei – TURTLE IN WELL
尾形 - Ogata -SHAPED LIKE A TAIL
横尾 － Yoko'o – BESIDE THE TAIL
長尾 - Nagao – LONG TAIL
目黒- Meguro – BLACK EYE
丹羽 – Tanba – MEDIOCRE FEATHERS
有馬 - Arima – EXISTING HORSE
宍戸 – Shishito – HOLE IN MY DOOR
酒井 – Sakai – WELL FULL OF SAKE
大沢 – Oozawa – BIG SWAMP
馬場ー Baba – Literally 'horse place' but it's pronounced like Grandma, so Japanese people find this one funny.
尾崎 - Ozaki – TAIL CLIFF
中尾 －Nakao – MIDDLE OF THE TAIL
三輪 – Miwa – THREE WHEELS
福沢ーFukuzawa – LUCKY SWAMP
熊沢 - Kumasawa – BEAR SWAMP
寺沢 －Terasawa – TEMPLE SWAMP
相沢 – Aizawa – SWAMP PARTNER
金沢 － Kanazawa – GOLD SWAMP
宮沢 - Miyazawa – PALACE SWAMP
吉沢 – Yoshisawa – LUCKY SWAMP
4 comments