Tokyo Damage Report

’70s punk humor

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type two gender fouls

There’s typical “gender fouls” like “Men who don’t like sports or cars” or “women who don’t like babies or armpit shaving.”  If you’re one of these, people make you feel less than a man/woman.  But what I’ve noticed recently is there is a HIDDEN ASYMMETRY in gender fouls. A whole second level of unfairness that is hidden until now simply because there is not a word for it.  What we normally think of as “gender fouls”, are actually two different things.    There’s the normal type of gender foul like i mentioned up above. Let’s call those TYPE ONE.

For my money, though,  the more interesting gender fouls are things that mark you as a loser, a failure as a man/woman , EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING WHICH ONLY YOUR GENDER DOES.  When you think about it, that’s pretty weird.  I guess you can resolve the contradiction by saying:  “99% of men don’t do XYZ, but 99% of people who do XYZ are men.”

 

Let’s call these activities TYPE TWO GENDER FOULS.

For example, even though collecting star wars figurines is something that only guys do, we don’t think of that as “manly” in the way that football/cars are.    (I’m not trying to make the case that Star Wars collecting is manly or awesome.  If anything, admitting that you care about sports/cars should be just as embarrassing as admitting you have a closet full of mint toys. But that’s beside the point. )

It’s hard to think clearly about TYPE TWO GENDER FOULS because it’s not symmetrical.

And by “not symmetrical”, I mean, there are plenty of women into science or role-playing games or whatever, but if you’re a woman and you’re into “geek” stuff like engineering, programming, astronomy . . . that’s a type ONE gender foul:  you’re acting too “masculine.” But if you’re a guy and into that stuff, it’s a type TWO gender foul:  it’s not masculine ENOUGH.  Makes your head hurt just thinking about it.

 

Put another way, most of what we think of as “women gender fouls” are TYPE ONE (some variation on ‘you’re doing guy stuff or not caring enough about girl stuff so you are less of a woman’). That’s why I had to write this rant, to try to give a way to think about TYPE TWO fouls. Until now there really has been no way to think about or talk about it. And even though I’m throwing down a theoretical framework for discussing it,  at the end of the day, I’m a guy and I have no idea what a female TYPE TWO might be!

So here goes my question to everyone: What’s the embarrassing stuff that meets the definition of: “99% of women don’t do XYZ but 99% of the people who do XYZ are women?”

For example, there is this stereotype that women collect shoes.  Is there any amount of shoe collecting large enough that  the woman would get made fun of like a guy with a huge collection of  comic books?  Or are shoe collections more like football and cars, where no matter how obsessive it gets it’s never a gender foul?

And being obsessed with aromatherapy or scented bath candle collecting!  Are those type two gender fouls?  I know it’s mostly women who do that, but are they seen as “less of a woman” if they get down like that?  What about living alone with 3 cats? Or just one cat?  Or reading romance novels?  Is “chick lit” OK but old-school Fabio books something you have to hide from your friends?

If you’re a woman or a guy with too many older sisters, can you help me out here? What are some good female type two gender fouls?

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THE BOGOSITY OF THE PROFESSIONAL WIPER

The HELL I just recorded a whole album in 3 weeks.

That's more music than I've made in the last 3 years combined!

Anyway it's up at bandcamp. 
Please let me know what you think!

 

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the new worst band

 

 

I been doing dumb photoshops since before tumblr.

will continue doing them after it is gone.

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missing from the conversation

Exactly how much more is my Wendys going to cost if farmworkers have rights?
Exactly how many more cents is my t-shirt going to cost if Bangladeshi girls are not being murdered? 
And if millions of  workers each had a little more pay to spend, what would they spend it on, and how much would THOSE industries grow?  How much would that stimulate our economy? How much more stuff could WE sell to American farmworkers or Bangladesh?
If economics were not a thoroughly corrupted discipline, there would be a hundred people working on this already. Instead there is 100 people working on how to make derivatives “better”. Another example of how a discipline can be totally corrupt without actually churning out straight-up false research. 
 
Related:
millions of articles about student debt and the rising cost of college,  but not  even one (far as I know) attempt to actually look at the budget of a university, compare it to that same university’s budget in the 60s when it was affordable, and see exactly what things are growing faster than inflation.
 I mean they all have that information archived. And it's not somebody's opinion. it's cut-and-dried facts.
I get that the regents would want to keep that data secret , but nobody on ANY SIDE of this debate even seems to think that that kind of study is important, whereas I think it’s impossible to have any kind of debate without doing that first.
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the banality of Orwellian government: a satire in two acts

Now the FBI is in the headlines trying to get the authority to warrantless wiretap citizens. And the DOJ is bugging the AP. The most SMFH thing about this is not that the government is spying on innocent citizens – we all knew that. The SMFH thing is that  even  this Brave New Cyber 1984 world is chock- full of  banal Dilbert office politics and petty infighting between agencies. Like, it’s not too oppressively Orwellian, it’s oppressively too FAMILIAR.
SCENE: WHITE HOUSE SITUATION ROOM
FBI CHIEF: What? The NSA is monitoring everyone’s phone and email and texts? That’s fucked up Mr. President!  That is a grave injustice, Mr. President! Howcum they get to but we don’t? No fair! The NSA are just total dicks! 
NSA CHIEF:  but  the painstaking legal acrobatics of YOUR  “laughably illegal presidential authorization memo which no one is allowed to see”  authorize slightly different categories of targets than the panstaking legal acrobatics of OUR “laughably illegal presidential authorization memo which no one is allowed to see”, so it would be just TERRIBLE GOVERNMENT OVER-REACH if we let you copy any of our wiretaps.
FBI CHIEF:   You see, Mr. President? You see how he is? Some al Queda guy in a cave knows what “CONTROL+V” means but this guy doesn’t????
*DHS CHIEF ENTERS* But Daaaaddd!!! If the FBI gets to construct a totally redundant and expensive system to monitor the 90-percent-of-the-same emails that the NSA is monitoring, then we have to get our OWN redundant and expensive system! Google said it would be ok, and also FBI are just pricks!  
NSA CHIEF:   You get to do extraordinary renditions and you don’t share, and now you want to copy our thing??? Penis breath!
FBI: Anyway we thought of it first!
DHS: Liar! Butt munch!
OBAMA: Everyone shut the fuck up! Jesus, you kids! OK, you can all have your own expensive, totally redundant, incompatable, and overlapping systems to violate everyone’s civil rights. BUT, you have to subcontract the construction to a bunch of private sector scam-artists, fuckups, and cronies who will jack up the price, while storing all the people’s private data in a shoebox in the middle of the street where any 14 year old Chinese kid can hack it.
FBI: You are firm but fair, sir.


RELATED: what gets me isn’t the Orwellian descent, but the utterly childish, Asperger’s, Calvin-ball nature of the justifications:

Well, OK, the “torture” and “worldwide secret prisons” and the “read-everyone-ever’s-emails” policy and the “assassinate our own citizens based on secret evidence” dealies weren’t voted on by Congress, or, you know,  even made public at all, but it’s so totally allowed because the President paid a lawyer to come in and type up the memos with lots of “whereas”es and “aforementioned”es and “party of the first part”s.  Then we paid a second lawyer to click his heels three times and sprinkle the memos with Constitution Dust while reciting the powerful spell "OHWA TADI KAYAMM".  Did you ever see the part in the Godfather where Brando writes a memo assassinating his enemies? No? That’s because CROOKS DON’T DO THAT. Geez.
And the totally legal-because-of-jargon memos are immediately rushed to a safe in the Pentagon basement which no one is allowed to open. And the secret safe is also situated in the Time-Out Zone on the other side of Cootie City, so it's super super against the rules to even mess with it. But . . . . we printed them on real paper.  If we just copied them on a flash drive which we gave to the Joint Chiefs of Staff, that would be tyranny. Duh. And of course you Glenn Greenwald types would have a point if we just printed out ONE copy.  But we printed out MULTIPLE COPIES, and put all the copies in the same safe. This isn’t fucking Syria. Plus the multiple copies are on Magic Human-Rights Paper, we’re bringing in a wizard on Tuesday to laminate them. Just to be on the safe side. We're not taking any of these steps lightly. 
But you wingnuts still aren’t satisfied? I suppose you want us to stop fluoridating the water too?  You think Hologram Tupac killed JFK with time-travel bullets?
*SIGH*
Fine, we’ll let the leaders of the Congressional counterterrorism committee read the assassination memo, but only if they don’t bring pencils, make notes, or consult their own lawyers about the constitutionality of what they read. Also they can’t read odd-numbered pages, and they have to touch the countertop three times everytime they read a verb.  We are a nation of rules and laws here.
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New Rap Song About NRA

THANK YOU WAYNE

 

 

 

Wayne LaPierre, he ain’t playing fair

High heels, bustier, lingere derriere

His style is suspicious, these violent hypocrites is

Switching up,   playing both sides of the fences


“Gun control is bad, crooks will always get guns”

They should know, because they’re the ones who’s selling to thugs!

Sell a nine to you, Sell a mac to your spouse

A bazooka to the dude who’s a-breaking into your house.

You can get my meaning The NRA’s biting

the hand that’s feeding

They’re laughing at you, after you leave the meeting

they’re calling you a sucker

Saying, if our rank-and-file only knew the real number

Of guns we’ve put in the hands of crooks,

Because of loopholes we put on the books,

All paid for with our members’ dough

Which we take to DC buying hookers and blow

For a scandalous representative from Kansas

Givin’ protection to gunrunners and bandits

And I don’t need heat

to jack for beats

Just a sonar crack and some mp3s

Got these firearms causing higher harm

Than ten nine elevens every year

That’s thirty al quaeda bombs

and it’s not terror

it’s wayne la Pierre

keeping the spotlight off of the real players

like Hi-Point, Bryco, And smith and Wesson,

so kids that’s investin’ get returns on their shares.

And You’ll never hear, all about rea-ALL-co,

100 crimes a year, 100 deadly salvos

All from one store, and thanks to ALEC

The ATF can’t make it public.

So exercise your rights Cap a caribou twice,

hit the range every night But don’t be a chump, 

have a lil self respect now  They shitting down your neck,

 you got a mighty smear you’re looking silly troop

get some tide out and some cheer   So While you wash your ghillie suit, 

just Sing the chorus in your boxers be obnoxious ‘billy dudes


Wayne LaPierre, he ain’t playing fair

High heels, bustier, lingere derriere

His style is suspicious, these violent hypocrites is

Switching up,  playing both sides of the fences


We’re the only way to keep your rights (BULLSHIT!)

It’s communist to compromise (BULLSHIT!)

We give a fuck who lives and dies (BULLSHIT!)

We’re on the law abiding side (BULLSHIT!)


We got a Ouija board direct to John Wayne (BULLSHIT!)

He says freedom and murder is the same (BULLSHIT!)

We only want to keep you safe (BULLSHIT!)

Every single solitary syllable we say is (BULLSHIT!)


And the maker makes em cheap – he says thank you wayne

Knowing the customers are creeps – he says thank you wayne

I buy  20 at a time – I say thank you wayne

When I cross a state line with ‘em - thank you wayne

And sell them to a felon or a nihilist – I say thank you wayne

With no background check because it’s private - I say thank you wayne

If I can sell ‘em to a terrorist - he says thank you wayne

Even selling on the net  - we say thank you wayne

And even though it’s evil yeah, every step’s still legal fair

Right up ‘til your daughter gets put into a wheelchair

thank you wayne , YOU say thank you wayne, YOU say thank you wayne.


Wayne LaPierre, he ain’t playing fair

High heels, bustier, lingere derriere

His style is suspicious, these violent hypocrites is

Switching up,  playing both sides of the fences


But just who is benefittin’

From all of these decisions?

Is it all for the amendment?

Or did the inspiration

Come from the corporations?

With some fishy vested interests

The heads of which are sittin’

On the board you ain’t elected?


I could do 100 bars about the censorship

With a hundred examples loaded in my extended clip


Who’s the

most crooked gun dealers – you ain’t allowed to know that

Common causes of gun deaths – government can’t show that

Which brands crooks buy most - you can’t be told that

If the truth is on your side, why they hold back

those facts? Cus They don’t trust you

 to make up your own mind.

NRA is on whose side?

Is it? the guys who buy the stocks  ,to sell the glocks?

And the special hollow points for killing cops

Is it? the patriots whose whole business model

Is sellin to El Narco? They hit the pinche lotto

Is it?  the gun stores who somehow wind up winning

Every time half their inventory goes missing?

Is it? the undertakers, Is it? the wreath makers

Is it? the Bushmasters sitting on the board of directors?

You’re in the last sector, treated like a heckler

Yet you’re begging them to save you

from the danger they created

And you do as you’re plainly told

Because your brain’s controlled

Who got you in a fuckin’ stranglehold.


Wayne LaPierre, he ain’t playing fair

High heels, bustier, lingere derriere

His style is suspicious, these violent hypocrites is

Switching it up, playing both sides of the fences


You supporting us

But we supporting thugs

So they can get more guns

And now you’re scared as fuck, so . . . .


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DIBS

 
DIBS – disinformation beurau of scandal.
The so-called “war on whistleblowers” is only the visible prong of a 2-prong strategy. The administration knows that no matter how hard it tries some stuff will eventually leak. To “prepare the battlefield” for future leaks, the DIBS was created: a super-secret beuaru whose only mandate is to think up fake scandals that are WORSE than whatever might possibly be revealed. The benefits are that, when stuff leaks in the future, 1) people won’t even believe it because of prolonged exposure to DIBS’ constant wolf-cries, or else 2) they will believe it but by that point it will seem tame in comparison, so they won’t be outraged.
The real challenges are, of course 1)  to think of scandals which are that bad. And 2) to persuade the media (who are being, as you will recall, harshly intimidated into IGNORING leaks by the first prong above) to run the stories. That’s where the internet comes in!
 
But then you run into the inevitable inter-agency conflicts with DHS, NSA, FBI, and other agencies whose job it is to monitor the internet: the DIBS is so secret, they can’t openly tell the other agencies “Hey, it’s OK, don’t mess with the owner of that site, that’s one of OUR stories.”   Since you can’t openly tell that to DHS, NSA, FBI, etc. it becomes important to create a new sub-agency within DIBS whose job is creating fake cover stories for the fake articles, to fool the other agencies. And naturally that sub-agency’s budget grows exponentially with mission creep, threatening to take over the whole organization, and leading to resentment within the staff.
 
So anyway, from now on when you see some absolutely awful story in the media, you can knowinly smile and say to yourself, “OK, the world is not going to hell, it’s just DIBS doing their thing.”
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Iron Maiden Venn Diagram

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FINALLY DECIDED THE TEA PARTY IS NOT RACIST

There’s been a lot of debate about tea party racism-or-not, a lot of very tedious and inconclusive debate  . . .but I’m finally confident that I have got to the bottom of it: no, they’re not.
I base this on their reaction to the IRS singling their 501c(4) applications out for scrutiny.
WHICH WAS THE SAME EXACT REACTION AS WASHINGTON D.C.’S  BLACK MAJORITY WHEN MAYOR MARION BARRY WAS CAUGHT ON CAMERA SMOKING CRACK WITH HOOKERS.
Barry was arrested in 1990. After he got out of jail, he was re-elected in ’94.   What the fuck?!? I remember reading this article at the time, and there was a quote from an African-American DC citizen saying basically this:  “It’s not that I think he’s innocent. ALL mayors are guilty. If the FBI looks at ANY mayor long enough, they’ll find a boatload of felonies. So just by CHOOSING to look at the most powerful Black mayor in America, the FBI is guilty. . .  of racism!”
I don’t remember the exact quote . . . the news story was 20 years ago. But I remember being blown away. This was my first time to hear the idea that EVERYONE is guilty and by choosing to LOOK AT one person and not another person, the government can basically choose arbitrarily who to throw in jail. In other words, you can have a system of laws (which in theory apply equally to everyone and are thus fair and rational) which is also totally arbitrary.
Fast forward to 2013, and the IRS catches the Tea Party groups applying for 501c(4) status – which they fucking clearly don’t deserve. 501c(4) is for community service and charity and stuff, it’s explicitly NOT for politics.  Rather than deny they’re political groups, the Tea Parties say exactly what Black DC said: “Since EVERY 501c(4) group is guilty of false filing in order to avoid taxes, singling US out for inspections is an arbitrary persecution.”
So, they’re not racist after all!  And I’m happy to hear they’re against racial profiling, stop-and-frisk, no-knock warrants and the drug war!  Which is the only logical consequence of their anger over IRS “persecution!” 
 Marion Barry Tea Party 2016!!!!
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home grown terrorists and secular idealists

People ask, “What is up with home-grown terrorist kids? How can they enjoy all the freedoms of a rich and democratic society and still want to blow up America (or England or Spain or wherever)?”
 
I think a major reason why “home grown” terrorists exist is that precisely BECAUSE they are growing up in the west, they have no idea how fucked up Muslim countries’ governments are, and no idea the amount of Muslim-on-Muslim violence that goes down, even when infidels are not involved.  And I’m not saying this to bag on Arabs or Muslims. I’m just repeating what the Arab Spring protesters were saying about their own countries.    
 
Put another way, if you live in a middle-east country, you might love Allah and hate the American and Israeli governments, but at the same time, every day of your life, you’ll be dealing with other folks who are downright jagoffs, who happen to be Muslims. Maybe it’s the secret police, or maybe it’s just a noisy neighbor or a waiter at a restaurant who has an attitude. And you’ll read daily about fights that your sect (Sunni, Shiite, Sufi, Alawite, etc.) is having with another sect WHO ARE ALL HUGE DICKS AND WRONG ABOUT RELIGION. Plus, you'll likely every day see your own politicians invoking the name of Allah to justify whatever corruption they are doing, and you’ll become cynical about that.
 
So even though you’ll get a daily dose of  "us-vs.-them, good-vs.-evil" rhetoric from your local imam or TV host, you’ll instinctively balance that rhetoric with your daily life experience, like I said above. But “home-grown” terror kids, lack the cynicism about real-life problems in Islamic countries, experience that would allow them to think critically about these messages.
 
In other  words, home-grown terrorists just get the “AMERICANS ARE KILLING INNOCENT MUSLIM CHILDREN” part, rather than the “SO ARE OTHER REPRESSIVE MUSLIM GOVERNMENTS” part. And probably the jihadi come-back is "Well, you see, any Muslim government that is corrupt is only  corrupt because it's influenced by the West, and really infidels are to blame." But I would bet like 200 yen that most Muslims who buy that bullshit are not living in those countries, but instead living in the West.
 
 
Like all ideologies (including the American idea that democracy can be spread with guns and bombs (which even other white-people countries find bizarre) ), everything seems simple the further you go into the abstract, and everything gets much more morally complex and fucked up when you try to implement the ideology in practice.
 
All that talk  on jihadi forums about “CHILDREN DIED FROM USA BOMBS AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT, YOU POSER?” seems fairly black-and-white . . .The obvious answer is, “Well, I have to join the jihad and avenge the dead children! It’s us Muslims vs. them infidels!”    
 
But what happens to all that us-vs.-them when you enter village politics in some redneck shithole town where there are like 10 different tribes and 3 versions of Islam and family feuds that go back centuries, and all this guns-and-money being shipped in by foreign governments to fuel Muslim-on-Muslim fighting? And all sides concerned insist that they are the only ones truly doing the will of the Almighty?
 
Who is “Us” and who is “Them”? 
 
 
And to further morally complicate things, . . . . in places like Afghanastan, Syria, and Lebanon, most of that money is actually coming in from other Muslim countries, who you’d think should be trying to STOP the fighting. If you grow up in a middle-east country, you’ll know that the USA is not the only government who is giving military aid to corrupt regimes, and that this money is NOT used for religious purposes but just for power.
 
But again, if you’re some American or British kid whose immigrant parents never honestly explained to you exactly WHY they left their home country and how corrupt it was, and instead your head is full of bullshit websites that only discuss the religious aspects of jihad, and never the political agendas, then not only will you be brainwashed, but even native Middle-east Muslims would consider you a simpleminded idiot.
 
The fact is even if you are ready to die for jihad, chances are, by the time you make it through the recruitment phase and the training camp. . . . and you finally get to the front lines. . ..  you’ll wind up working for some dickbag local warlord who gives 10% of a shit about Islam and 90% of a shit about fucking underage prostitutes, extorting the (Muslim) locals to  within an inch of their lives, and whose idea of a fun weekend is smuggling 3 million dollars worth of khat. And you’ll be dying for HIS aims, not for Allah. And you’ll most likely be killing like – best case scenario – 1 or 2 Americans and 20 Muslim locals who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. 
 
 
Who is “Us” and who is “Them”? 
 

(ironically, or maybe not, this is the exact same problem faced by US troops you're trying to kill!  The US troops  who are doing counterinsurgency in those countries: "Which warlord do I bribe vs. which do I assassinate? When should I try to "win hearts and minds" and when should I take out a wedding party?")

 

Regardless of which side you're on, thinking you are fighting a global battle for world domination/salvation and the ultimate final victory of good over evil is way more fun than fighting for small incremental local changes in the real world. Not only does local real-world change take longer, but you have to be accountable for the results. Double fail!
 
On the other hand, the attraction of thinking in big, abstract, global terms is twofold: You elevate your own importance and the purity of your ideals while at the same time blithely ignoring all the corruption, counterproductive side-effects and moral-slash-physical quagmires that happen when you try to implement those ideas.
 
For example, here are two ways of describing life at a forward operations base in Afghanistan: “Going on foot patrol 90 minutes a day just to get shot at or blown up by an IED, before running back to base, then doing the same thing again tomorrow, forever.” Compare that to: “Saving the world for democracy while nation building and employing state of the art counterinsurgency strategy!”  Which of those sounds better to you? They are both describing the exact same thing, just at different levels of abstraction.
 
While I disagree with the view that “The American GWOT (global war on terrorism) is just as religiously motivated as jihadi violence”, I would say there’s a grain of truth. The grain is: both the crazy imams and also chicken-hawk American national security goofballs like Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, and T. Friedman tend to see things in terms of abstract ideals and are living in this wacky dream world to the extent that they are willing to send people off to die for abstractions.   Which sounds religious to me!
 
So, in summary,  I set out to bag on home-grown terrorists but wind up bagging on my own government.
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design festa spring 2013 roundup

OZEKI ISAMU's gag panels about contemporary Japanese cultural foibles


NISHIMURA GUNDAN's wonderful character design

 

JACK POY's incredible Ghibli-Meets-Bladerunner photoshoppery

 

EM's awesome series , the theme of which is: "cute girls posing with insect larvae and other soft garden critters"

 

NAO KITANO's incredibly lush retro-Edo mythological paintings

 

TAHAI ROMAN's retro '30s stuff

 

TERADA SO's "modern day family crest" series

 

SAME P 's  hallucinatory gay catholic illustrations

 

KIKOMU RIN's series "if  various desserts were personified as cute anime girls"

 

SANKAKUSHA's wonderful "street fashion" zine of grandmas (instead of '90s Harajuku girls)

 

AKAI HYOUHON's retro '30s grotesque/patriotic work

 

YUTORI GAL – chaotic graffitti like schoolgirls. No anime or "moe" here.

 

TSUKI NO KAERU – giant mechanical levitating spheres and rabbits


NORIHIRO TAKECHI – the ultimate taboo . . .women who look like real women.

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