Ha! Fucked around and made virtual album covers for all my unreleased albums! I put the first 3 albums up on my bandcamp page. I'll post more if enough people go there and download them . But until then, I keep myself amused goofing around in Photoshop.
34 A brief history of vats vol.1 ROCK OPERA
59 Fish supply failing – blottalgore LP (99)
60 Busuchan – defrag my heart LP (2000)
61 Stalin claus Superstar 4 DISC ROCK OPERA WTF (2000)
62 forgot to get a rap name LP (2001)
63 Finky Bink$ – Charlie bucket; cosmonaut LP (2001)
65 Amino assholes- collected works vol. 1 LP (2002)
66 Ookubo sutajio fukubukuro LP (2004)
67 Criminally insane project LP (2004)
69 Bouninjoutai – Tokyo aizo LP (2005)2 comments
1) working on fake covers for all my fake albums. over 30 so far. Need another 15 but burned out.
2) overhaul of the Tokyo Underground Tour guide
3) kind of don't care anymore. Would rather be in the bathtub reading Pynchon than worrying that Facebook and Tumblr etc. make it possible for some trivial douche to update their "relationship status" and get 100 times more "likes" than if i spent 10 hours making an in-depth report about Japanese emperor-worship and its lingering effects on contemporary subcultures. If the fuckin ' internet enables so much information then why can i not find for the life of me websites that I want to read? Oh because "information" doesn't distinguish between Russian penis-enhancement ads, and actual reports of war crimes that journalists almost died to get, and kittehs.
4) Church of Misery is playing a fucking one-man-show at the new 20000v on dec 29th at 5 pm. please come to this, as it will be the best show this year. Also please bring me some leather lube for my leather jacket which is so stiff and brittle, i can'T even wear that shit. Leather Lube Links Please in the Comments. Fuck.
5) second best show; for 1000 yen . . . .dec 22, at kouenji DOM studio (in PAL shopping mall). .. . 25 bands, 1000 yen. can'T go wrong. F.I. D. 。。。。 Endon, need i say more???? fuck! starts i think 3 PM goes alll night. it is a classic Japanese "gaman" contest to see who can tolerate the most mediocre music.
6) maybe a short story / rock opera (new!) based on a dream which I am presently having, where different parts of a song (melody, the rhythm, the meter, etc) are each political parties, and each have their own Fox News-style propaganda groups and PAC committes to influence how the song goes, to their own benefit, regardless of how shitty the song winds up sounding. And actually if the song gets shitty, that is all part of the plan, assuming they had the 50 cents-and-a-diet-sprite neccesary to hire a Spin Doctor to explain to the masses (in this case, the individual notes) that the shitty song is entirely due to THEIR FOES and the only salvation is to give even more UNILATERAL POWER to the SAME FACTION THAT FUCKED IT UP SO FAR.
Wish me luck bringing that baby to fruition.
It will be called STAIRWAY TO SHITSTAIN.
7) A n Old School Death Metal project about Kimberlite Pipes, not to exceed 5 songs in length. This OSDM . .. .will be. .. .Perhaps even a OSDM Puny Humans reunion, but don't expect LA LA LA LA LA LA LA BULLSHIT WALTER all over again (this last comment directed to our oppressive A&R agents).5 comments
So the reason I haven't been doing this site recently is, I was re-mastering all my old songs.
Hundreds of them.
It took years!
In some cases, I had to rip from cassette-tape masters.
In other cases, I had digital files in obsolete formats that had to be converted WITH TIME TRAVEL.
In still other cases, the digital files I'd previously archived DIDN'T FUCKING WORK because the archives THEMSELVES had been declared obsolete by the software manufacturer.
Years of frustrating effort and nonstop worrying that I'd lose/break/forget about some ancient and obscure CD-R/cassete/ HD before I had the chance to archive it properly.
And then I had to re-rip a dozen more cassete-masters where the Dolby switch or the tape-speed was wonky BUT I HAD LOST THE 4-TRACK.
Borrowed a 4-track.
It didn't have the AC converter.
Found a converter.
But the polarity was reversed.
Fixed the polarity with sottering gun.
Then the earthquakes came.
Then, just out of sheer bloody-mindedness, I decided to REDO from scratch about 30 ancient tunes where the music was great but the recording quality was, let's say, not quite up to snuff.
In all cases , I had to re-mix all 500-odd songs from scratch.
And what's worse, actually LISTEN TO THEM to make sure the levels were OK.
Which (the listening, if not the other efforts) lead to sudden and, in retrospect, quite predictable case of burn-out and months of drinking.
And so on.
But now it's FUCKING DONE. The fucking master plan is IN FULL EFFECT; 24 years of songs, all in the same place, same format, all ready to go.
So, on to the next step: I set up a bandcamp page. We'll see if that's better than using this site to distribute.
Anyway, the bandcamp header looks like this: it's a close-up of this .99-cent guitar that I recorded all the original tunes on. The cheapest piece of shit that wound up playing the most ambitious tunes of my life. Just sheer hubris. Nobody told me that it was impossible to do that!!!
Anyway, if you are into funny / satirical / proggy music please visit the Schultzzz bandcamp page, and / or tell your friends. Yes there are songs about Rhombuses, dung-beetles, mall cops, love songs to the toothless, Flamenco-death-metal instrumentals, and of course raps about Gertrude Stein vs. Oprah.
The music is free to play and download, but Bandcamp makes their money by taking a cut of sales, so to encourage people to buy, they put a cap on the number of free downloads per month. Which is reasonable.
For now, I just have 3 or so albums up there. But just for the record, here is my whole fuckin' curriculum;
Unless otherwise noted in bold type, all albums are one-man-band style.
Spent last week making a damn rap song.
It's about politics!
It's over 8 minutes long!
I'm rapping like it's 1981!
There are samples of lynxes and raccoons!
first thought: HOLY SHIT SOMEONE ACTUALLY DID "THE PRODUCERS" FOR REAL.
second thought: Hey maybe if someone actually played the original Producers movie for the Lybian/Egyptian extremists, they might calm down.
third thought: the best and most informative reporting I've found on the issue is here: http://www.juancole.com/
The dude is not only unbiased but he blows off the trivial sensational aspects in favor of context and talking to actual Lybians and Egyptians.
fourth thought: the usual muslims-vs.-americans violence is "You invaded our country so we're going to kill you."
This incident is NOT the usual. After all, the violence started in Egypt and Lybia, where the US was on the side of the pro-democratic forces and didn't put troops on the ground.
Instead , this is a case of "You are blasphemers so we're going to kill you."
The occasional muslim-vs-infidel violence (the Dutch moviemaker who was killed, the ongoing Salman Rushdie thing, the Danish Cartoon Apocalypse, etc) gets a lot more press over here, but the fact is : 99.9% cases of blasphemy-based violence are MUSLIM-VS-MUSLIM.
Remember during the Iraqui insurgency, all the Sunni and Shiite militias that were killing each other even more than killing our troops. And even right now, we have Lybian Sunni radicals are persecuting Sufis (who are also muslims). And the biggest sectarian conflict is in Syria of course, where it's basically a proxy war between Sunnis (Saudi Arabia, and , well, most of the middle east) and Shiites (Iran, Lebanon).
So the biggest victims of religious intolerance and "die, blasphemer against allah!"-type violence are . . . . other muslims!
Some people are saying "Well this kind of embassy-burning violence is to be expected if the West lets free speech get out of hand," but WTF, if middle-eastern muslims are more sensitive and tolerant in their speech than westerners, where are all the Sunnis killing Shiites getting their ideas from?!? Fox news?!?!?2 comments
MORE ON ITALIAN FUTURISM:4 comments
- refugee from Sudan – never seen any iron-age technology besides an AK47.
- one of those poor women from the American Midwest Christian cults where dude has 20 wives and they dress like Little House on the Prarie
- kid from North Korea
- refugee from some psycho Hassidic family.
- Some ancient crusty island motherfucker that is like the last survivor of the New Guinea Cargo Cults.
- Various other misfits.
Because of the "presidential horse race" mentality, the press avoids all the issues which the candidates agree on. To our media, asking a question about campaign finance reform or electronic wiretapping would be like putting a basketball hoop up at a football game – totally useless, because neither candidate would be able to score points with it.
I remember being in college and spending a lot of time doing/listening to debates about various -isms and inequality. (hint: we were against it). What is weird is, the teachers didn't give us the conceptual tools to discuss it productively.
For instance: any time there's a case of social inequality (the haves always do The Thing, and the have-nots don't get to do The Thing), there's actually TWO ways to remedy the situation. One: make the haves STOP doing the thing, and two: allow the have-nots TO start all doing the thing.
Both approaches result in equality, but through two totally opposite paths. And yet – as far as I can tell – for hundreds of years that people have been debating inequality, NO ONE HAS NOTICED THIS. You get idealistic people who will use every last bit of logic and passion and carefully-thought-out ideals (Jeffersonian republicanism! Pluralism! Transparency!) and spend a fucking hour advocating that we should make the haves STOP doing The Thing. . . . all based on a snap judgement that took a tenth of a second. Why should we make the haves STOP doing the thing? Why not allow everyone to ALL do the thing? You didn't even consider that for a whole second. . . .did you? Because, against all logic, BOTH FUCKING TOTALLY OPPOSITE approaches to justice are taught to you as THE EXACT SAME THING.
We're taught NOT to ask ourselves, "Which TYPE of equality should I advocate to remedy such-and-such an injustice?"
So, OK! Let me help the problem.
Let's call the "make the haves STOP doing the thing" approach LEVELING UP, and call the "let the have-nots ALL be able to do the thing" approach LEVELING DOWN.
Some instances are easy as shit: the overwhelming majority of domestic violence is done by men. You don't have to think too long to realize this is a LEVELING DOWN scenario: Men should STOP doing the thing.
Other instances are fairly easy: most senators are white, so most people would say that people of color should LEVEL UP. Unless you're an anarchist and think that NOBODY should have state authority, in which case you'd be all for LEVELING DOWN.
Then, a favorite of mine: farts. Men fart and burp, women don't. Are crude noises a form of oppressive male domination? Or are they a fundamental right which women have historically been forbidden to do by restrictive gender roles? In other words , should we get equality by LEVELING UP OR BY LEVELING DOWN?!?
Without these two concepts, you can't even begin to have that discussion!
Or song lyrics: a lot of rappers talk about killing young black men. Would the world be a better place if britney and lady gaga mostly sang about murdering white women? After all, that is more equal. And much much better.
Or this other thing, which I'm also surprised that no one has remarked upon: the american police / national security state's radical EQUALIZATION and ELIMINATION of racism. This is the single most equality-making development in government since King marched at Selma, and yet nobody even says thank you?!?? Consider this: government now treats upper-middle-class white people like Black Panthers: reading their mail, tapping their phone, strip-searches at airports without cause, "civil forfiture" of possessions without even an arrest, and "indefinite detention" without trial. Still waiting for a rapper to make fun of Occupy kids: "How's it feel, whitey? Oh, NOWWWW it's unfair, right, since it's happening to you! Welcome to the club, white kid."
Anyway, does treating whites as crappy as black people count as leveling up or leveling down?4 comments