liner notes (to a nonexistent LP SLEEVE)
(this might make more sense if you had the album. . . )
INTRO/OUTRO
In mid-2001, we both became obsessed with the riff from 'war pigs.' Duh-NUH. . . .(pause…) NUH! NUH! NUHHHHHHH-nuh!!!!!!! (dee-DOOP)
Yeah.
Then we started thinking of different musical quotations to put in the pause/drumfill section. Our ambitions for 'the pause' became more and more grandiose, as we realized the pause was what MAKES THE RIFF SO GREAT. Eventually we (meaning schultz) had the bright fucking idea to put THE ENTIRE ALBUM inside the riff-pause. The ultimate tribute.
thorax, ho!!
After the AMINO ASSHOLES debacle (you know, where Schultz's 20 minute long arrangement of the 'Meow Mix' theme was rehearsed for 10 minutes right before the show, the video camera failed to document the performance, and yeah, only 2 people showed up), Kocol decided that it would be a "great idea" to not let the most horrible guitar tone EVER CREATED BY ANYONE to not go to waste…This particular tone was created for the AMINO ASSHOLES project, and it's fuckedosity, as it were, was comprised of the following variables: 40% pitch-shifting (not quite in tune enough to be up a full octave), 40% flange (where the flange alters the pitch of EVERYTHING not quite ½ step +/- the original tone), and 20% distortion (EQ-ed specifically to tear holes through ones eardrums). This whole song was composed around the sonic monstrosity…oh yeah, and there's glockenspiel, too.
Schultz adds, "it's important to note that an integral component of THE SOUND is Jason's utterly beatific facial expression and crucified posture throughout the whole song."
you belong to the sewer-
When Gilman Street (the East Bay punk club) had it's 15th anniversary, they decided to commemorate the event with a video: a camera's-eye-view of the Gilman sewer line. A 60 foot fiber-optic cable operated by a Germano-american technician named Hyko was inserted down the toilet. We were assigned the awesome responsibility of designing a soundtrack for this video. Rather than take the 'easy way out' and compose original music, we found it necessary to 'hell of jack' an old Don Henley tune. Or Glen Frey. Or whoever. I mean, both those guys are ex-members of that old Gilman Street band.
Oh, and can I mention the video was shot on 9/11? (you can hear Hyko saying
'bombing day' at the end of the song)
In order to capture the true nausea of the Fantastic Voyage down the poop-chute (in musical form), each synthesized track was randomly pitch-shifted to varying degrees throughout the entire recording, back and forth, back and forth, back and….. EUHHHHHHHHLLLLLPPPP…
what's really happening?
In 1997, David Bowie had a contest. He was very excited about 'the internet'
that he'd just discovered, and decided to have his fans submit lyrics
to a song he'd recorded. Wow, interactive!! The winner would have the
honor of meeting Mr. Bowie and, presumably, stabbing him with a rusty
tire iron. Bowie provided (via this 'internet' thing) the meter and length
of the verses, and the title: 'what's really happening?' I'm really sorry
I didn't think to save the other entries in this contest, most of which
were just AMAZING. But lame. 'my baby left me…' what kind of shit
is that?? I mean, 'what's really happening to me?' is obviously an EPISTOMOLOGICAL
QUANDRY, and Schultz took pen in hand to solve the relation of perception
to reality and the meaning of existence in an unknown and unknowable world,
in 12 lines.
It lost.
wouldja look at the ass- on that mummy?
An obvious mixture of prog, metal and sound effects, this composition
was a Puny Humans first. But instead of discussing its creation in grave
detail, here is a recipe for lasagna…I mean PROG LASANGA:
Average Rating: (1 vote)
Yield: 8 servings Ingredients1 pk Lasagna (500g)
1 lb Lean ground beef
1 ea Onion, finely chopped
1 ea Clove of garlic, minced
1 cn Sliced mushrooms(10 oz/284ml
1 cn Tomato spaghetti sauce(14oz)
1 cn Tomato paste(5-1/2oz/156ml)
1 t Salt
1 t Fretless oregano
1 ea Egg, beaten
1 c Creamed cottage cheese
1/3 c Grated parmesan cheese
1 pk Sliced mozzarella cheese
1 pk Spinach, thawed,chopped
Instructions 1. Cook lasagna in a large quantity of boiling water until
just barely tender; drain off most of water; add ice cubes to stop cooking.
(Allow lasagna to stand in cold water to prevent pasta sticking together.)
In a saucepan, brown meat with onion and garlic; drain off fat. Cook over
low heat, covered, for about 5 min. Stir in mushrooms with liquid, tomato
sauce, tomato paste, salt and oregano. Simmer 15 mins. Combine egg with
spinach, cottage and parmesan cheeses. Spread 1/3 of meat sauce in 13x9
in. baking dish. Cover 1/4 of lasagna (about 5 overlapping strips.) Alternate
another 1/3 of sauce and 1/4 of lasagna. Spread spinach mixture over pasta
and cover with 1/4 lasagna strips. Top with remaining sauce and pasta.
Arange mozzarella cheese on top. Bake at 350F for 30 mins. Let stand 10
mins. before serving.
